Sleep, it doth elude me

It's almost 3am - and here I am on the computer.  Really?

I have a lot of things rushing around in my brain, apparently:

I broke a tooth Friday, so I'm anxiously awaiting my dentist's call first thing in the morning to see if I can get in to get a crown. At least it shouldn't be a root canal! Had one of those last year - apparently on the wrong tooth. I don't blame the dentist - my "mystery tooth" has been bothering me off and on for over 10 years. We've fooled around trying to figure out which one is the right one and last summer I was positive that we had it - got a crown, then a root canal because the crown didn't solve it. Once that one was on, within a week, I knew it wasn't right - but the darn thing just wouldn't show itself. The dentist said from the get-go that he thought it was a hairline crack and that eventually it'd show up or break off. It did - and it's not even one of the teeth I thought it could have been! Darn mixed up wiring in the mouth...

I'm trying to get the kids on a school schedule again - but we have so much other stuff to accomplish, it's not working. The story of my life...  So, today they're working on math and typing, then we'll do some stuff on one of the older boys' merit badges, do some cleaning up (the house is a disaster), a bit of yard work, and then swimming. My goal is to finish up one merit badge this week, another next week, a third one the following week, then work on our current unit study and fit in swimming several times each week. EB needs to be a confident and capable swimmer before mid-June (Hubby is also taking him swimming about 6am most mornings.) and MM and TSS need to regain some comfort and stamina by then too.

As I said above, the house is a disaster; the yard is atrocious and a mess; laundry is backed up - just a lot of things that distract me and pretty much shut down my motivation centers.

While not a problem, it's something that's been in my head - Saturday TSS, EB, TCC and I all competed in a martial arts tournament. Our school had 8 of us representing - not too bad, considering we're not an enormous school. Even our master instructor was there and competing.  TSS did forms and won 3rd place for his age and rank; EB sparred and did ok - didn't move much at all; TCC was put in the wrong category, but gave it his all and will receive a medal from the school; I won 3rd place in forms for my age bracket (against men) and 1st place for women's sparring. (I was the only one in my age bracket and rank to spar so was guaranteed a first place win, but I fought two women at least half my age - and won - to earn it.) Next month I'm hoping to test for my next rank.

Also working on building up my stamina for bike riding. I'd like to build up so I can ride my bike to work - probably not much more than a mile, but at this point, I can't do that. I credit all of my increased fitness and activity to my chiropractor (and my final decision to go see her). With 6 weeks worth of treatment, I went from almost immobile to riding a bike, entering a TKD tourney, walking, stretching and swimming again. HUZZAH!

I'm working my normal work schedule over the summer. First time I've worked over the summer since my first year there. I'm actually looking forward to it.  :)

Last pick up of a friend's son from public school today - at least for this school year. They asked if I would pick him up next year as well, so I already know to include that in our schedule.  I expect next year will be my last year as his brother should be driving by the end of December.

Ok, time to see if dumping my brain will let me get back to sleep.

Busy, busy day!

I think today is going to be a double-shot of espresso day...a few times over...

Last night, MM came home from his Order of the Arrow ordeal, proud and carrying his OA sash. (Yea!) He was exhausted from a rainy Friday - he and his sleeping bag were soaked - and working all day. 

This morning, we'll be getting everyone up early and going to see the Avengers. (The boys and I saw it Friday morning sans Hubby. This morning we're taking Hubby and meeting some friends.)

From there, we drop the boys off at the in-laws and head downtown to see Bill Cosby with Hubby's brother and sister-in-law and an early dinner follows.

Then we'll have enough time to come home just long enough to head right back out for a scout meeting tonight.

I expect to be crawling back home around 9 or 9:30pm.

And I woke up with a migraine. (Thanks allergies! Is it bad that I'm already wishing for a hard freeze...?)

Inner strength - that's what I'm looking for today. To keep the good mood and to keep me awake...

In other news, made the plunge and bought an iPad, primarily for education purposes. We already have to schedule time for the kids' foreign language and typing lessons on their computer, the three older boys have multiple research projects they're working on (which TSS frequently utilizes the laptop for) and MM uses my system for a computer programming...program... ?  This just gives some more options - I love some of the educational apps that are available for the iPad exclusively already.  More on that later.

Have an enjoyable day!

For Scootch

I wrote this about 2 or 3 years ago - guess I didn't publish it. While I didn't write one when his sister died, this was extremely cathartic and felt I should post it.

Big basso rumbles and paws in my face,                                                                         Chasing your sister all over the place,                                                                                 A gentle head nudge and a grab at my hand,                                                                       Keeping you was not what we had planned.
Smiles to our lives you brought every day,                                                                          With love and affection we watched while you played.                                                         For the hearts you helped heal and the company you kept,                                                 I write a bad poem now that I've wept.
Not so good, but it's hard to condense over 14 years of one of the best and most intuitive pets I've ever had.  (Especially trying to do it in 10 minutes...)
Scootch, my wonderful gray long-haired tabby cat, was with us through a lot of different things.  Bandit, our first beagle, found him and Molly in our woodpile. The dog rarely made a noise yet on that cool day, he was out barking like crazy at the same spot.  When I finally decided to see what was going on that evening, I found two very young gray kittens.  One I could hear mewing and the other, when I reached down, hissed and batted at my hand.
There was a hard freeze coming that night and we couldn't in good conscience let them stay outside. (We figured a momma cat was moving them when the dogs showed up.) We brought them in for the night and then took them to the vet where we discovered they both had a serious case of ringworm and had to be quarantined for a month.  (Hubby was hoping to take them to Nuke-Con which was 2 weeks later to find them new homes. Like that worked...HA!) They were about 3 weeks old and I bottle-fed them, took them to my in-laws when I worked so I could easily feed them over lunch, taught them how to get into the litterbox - I hand-raised these cats.
He accepted all of the kids with good graces and much tolerance. (One time I recall Scootch was playing with MM when he {MM} was maybe 3 or 4. Scootch got tired of playing and MM didn't know it.  Scootch whacked him so hard on the cheek, I could hear it reverberate throughout the room. I was stunned, waiting for MM to cry. Instead, he looked at me, looked at the cat and laughed.)
The dogs in our lives he dealt with a little more severely. Routinely he would beat them, though they hardly realized it.  When we brought home Cletus (our coonhound), the only place he wouldn't go was MM's room, so the cats would take refuge there. One day Cletus chased them down the hall and started to come into the room. Scootch, who had had quite enough, turned around in the doorway and, for the first time, smacked him upside the head. Cletus was so startled he pulled his head back and crashed his face straight into the door jamb. He must have thought Scootch was some sort of ferocious beast because from then on, he never bothered the cats again.
He and Molly stayed with me the night before my mom died, when I sat alone in the darkness with my thoughts and feeling that she was going to die. Neither one pawed, meowed or head-butted - they just were there for a friend in a time of need.
When TSS and EB came to live with us, they'd only had a yappy, nippy dog who they incessantly teased.  We showed them how to care for and respect animals. TSS has healed a lot from the events of his previous life and had claimed Scootch as his. (After me, of course!) He started calling him "Scootch-a-Boo" and could easily spend an hour lying on the floor petting the cat.
I could go on and on about him and how positively he's affected our lives. I'll miss his deep purrs in my ears before bed and pawing at my face for me to talk to him or pet him. Hubby misses him coming up and grabbing at our hands because it's obvious that hand isn't doing anything, so it should be petting him.
Goodbye, my big gray cat.

I'm baa-aaack...

...on task (or off, considering what I'm supposed to be doing...).

Updating the blog, trying to post a little more frequently - though we've heard that before!

School
We've been revamping school schedules - again.  We had a series of months where we took off apart from life skills, standing classes and videos. The boys had become almost rebellious in doing their work, so we just stopped. I wanted to see what would happen. About a month or so ago, two came to me and asked if they could start schooling again - FINALLY! We revised a bit, and then ended up completely on a different schedule.

I now have planners for each boy and am trying to get their schedules and work into their planner. I'd done that in my own planner but that just didn't work out. There was so much to put in, plus I'd have to rewrite it all out for them anyway, that I started slacking. Now I'm planning out their week one at a time for the rest of the "official" school year, which ends in mid-June. Trying to balance schoolwork with housework and yardwork, plus field trips, scouts and other classes and activities...yikes!

EB keeps asking about going to public school - mostly after he's been hanging out with his scout buddies. I sat down with him and explained why, exactly, we'd pulled them out (he was only finishing up 3rd grade when we did that) and what cost it would have to him (no family vacations). I just don't think he's a public school kind of person. While he's extremely social, that's been a detriment in the past. He doesn't like other people telling him what to do (you know, like teachers...). I also told him he needs to put forth some effort here - he's never given it a chance as he doesn't do the work he's assigned without a fight. (Which is currently working in my favor - he can't test for his next tae kwon do rank until he gets it together...)

Me, I don't want to be beholden to the school's schedule. I already pick up other children a few days a week and it plays havoc with our scheduling sometimes. He thinks it's just going to be a time to sit and chit-chat with his friends. 

Other
I've been out of commission for a while - I have a pinched nerve in my back from a herniated disk last spring. It got so bad that I could hardly walk for an extended time. About 6 weeks ago I finally went to a chiropractor and have been extremely grateful for her services! I went back to TKD this past week and was able to do almost everything without penalty. So nice to be able to move with little or no pain and difficulty!
With that, I'm going to sign off - I have core strengthening and stretches to do before we start on the day.

Swimming, Cable TV and Wabi-Sabi!

Hubby has had this whole week off and has taken the older boys swimming every morning, trying to help the older 2 get their next ranks in scouts. I'm hoping we stay YMCA members for a month or two, so he can continue taking them before work every morning. :)

MM is getting there - needs to work on his stamina. TSS has the crawl stroke down, but has issues getting his face in the water for extended times. (That and he doesn't sink or float, but hangs in the water - "neutral buoyancy" Hubby says.) EB, he says, "sucks" at swimming. The child has no control over his limbs. It's like each limb has a mind of its own, and his brain doesn't control any of them. (He's kind of like that in taekwondo - his strikes and kicks are loose.) TCC has decided he'd like to go too, but I'm not about to get up at oh-dark-thirty to go swimming, no matter how much I love it. (Honestly, they're gone between 6 and 6:30 every morning.) We might do an afternoon thing, when Hubby takes the older ones during an afternoon session.

As far as cable goes...we got rid of it on February 7th. TCC, who was the most vocal about not getting rid of it, told us last night he doesn't ever want it back. (Mind you, he can watch the shows he wants online...) Hubby is undecided, but is investigating purchasing equipment to get the local channels. I, personally, don't miss it much at all. I'm getting much more stuff done at home and even my time online isn't as much as it used to be. I rather liked the first night or two, when we all gathered on the couch and watched a movie. Or reading to TCC, instead of having him hang out in the basement watching the boob tube until bedtime. I think it's going to be a good thing for us and I'm excited about the prospects.

Hubby and I recently read about wabi-sabi in Mother Earth News and I would love to see us do more (or less, as it were) with that. I'd love to pare down our things and leave the house simple, pleasing and have things with history and presence. I think the timing of the article was fortuitous, as I recently watched a show on Buddha and felt what I learned was profound and has an application for all of us - regardless of spiritual beliefs. Essentially it was this: No one knows for certain what happens when we die, except those who have died. So, stop worrying about your future, as well as your past, and live in the here and now, with those who are with you, in each moment, and live fully, within that moment with those people. Appreciate them and everything around you.

May you be filled with loving kindness.

May you be well.

May you be peaceful and at ease.

May you be happy.

Quiet Sunday Morning

Hey look - I'm updating again! In the same month even! Figured no one else is stirring, so why not. I couldn't sleep - mind is too active right now.

I cleaned up a little bit of the kitchen (more on why not the whole thing later), made myself a mint mocha (with homemade chocolate mint syrup) and came down to study for my taekwondo test on Tuesday. After almost a year of inconsistent attendance, I'm finally going to test for my next belt. Woo-hoo!

Ok, so the reason I can't clean up the whole kitchen is because I only have full use of one hand right now. (Ceej, I'm sure, would be laughing with me about that...)

We were starting back on our school schedule when, last week, we had 2 snow days. Normally these don't impact us, but EB and I decided to make something comfy for dinner for Hubby, who works out in the weather. Cutting up the veggies with the mandolin (yeah, you can see where this is going...) - had one last thing to cut and it got stuck. It shot through, with my index finger. Sliced my finger from just under the cuticle to the first knuckle, deep enough to probably do nerve damage. The rest of Monday was spent applying pressure and directing the kids on what to do to finish the meal. (EB, BTW, was exceptionally helpful! He and MM helped me take care of the wound; EB shoveled several times and he made my lunch!)

Decided against going to the hospital - couldn't drive during the snow (what, with one hand bleeding all over and the other trying to stop it?) and figured they wouldn't be able to stitch it well - just superglue it. And have you ever had to go get stitches and they take so long to get to you that the wound seals? And then they come and rip it open? Seriously, who needs that? Not to mention the last time I went in, I had 2 cuts - one needed stitches, the other didn't - they stitched the one that didn't and I said "we're done". Then it was such a lousy job - the cut wasn't even stitched completely closed - that I had to go get them taken out.

So anyway, Hubby was off the following day, which always is a day off of school. We had a packed day of appointments the next day; I worked the following and we had a performance to go to on Friday. (Which we couldn't find any parking for, so we left - thankfully it was only $20!)

Maybe this week will be better for school. :)

Tomorrow MM goes to his first official orthodontist appointment. They said they were taking a mold of his mouth, but they already did that last month during our consultation. I'm hoping that means they'll actually put things on - he's getting anxious for it to be done.

Alrighty, time to hit the "books" - need a refresher on my terminology before anyone else gets up.

Happy New Year!

So, I'll try to be a little more regular about updating this thing. :)

The past several months, life, in general, just feels right. Sounds a bit strange, but I'm a gut-instinct, feelings-based person. I might not be able to explain why something doesn't seem good or bad, but I'm almost always right. (Got that instead of a superbrain, I guess.)

Here are some thoughts:

• I'm looking forward to having the kids start up school again tomorrow and having that routine. Getting done with our Lewis and Clark study - finally.
• We're down to 2 pets and that also is good. The dog crate has been relegated to the garage for the time being. Our dog food consumption has been cut almost in half. No litterbox.
• I'm heading back to taekwondo tomorrow, three times a week, plus doing core strengthening and possibly some dance.
• Eating right more consistently. Ultimate goal is to be 30 pounds lighter by summer; 60 by this time next year. (Though I'll take 30 by fall!)
• We're making some changes - tightening the budget so other things aren't so restricted. My goal there is to get rid of cable at least, maybe even the landline.
• Going to decide if we're planning on staying here for the rest of our foreseeable lives. (That right there makes me cringe...LOL...so maybe a move is in the cards.)

I, personally, am in such an awesome place right now. I love my life, my family and the direction we're headed. (Though, I always expect something to come up when that happens - that's usually when we adopt a child and chaos reigns supreme!)

I'm truly thankful to have all of our friends and family - past and present - who have helped shape (and, yes, even motivate) me.

Life is GREAT!